By Stephen L Robinson
Relationships are essential in our day to day lives. Setting a vision for your relationship or future relationship is not simply good, but extremely important. Relationships vary and are diverse. There are several types of relationships ranging from parents to children, relationships amongst friends, between colleagues and bosses alike. There are also relationships between individuals that we want to get more intimate with; most times, these types of relationships are romantic.
A relationship vision is an intentional or conscious process that helps us evaluate what we want from a relationship. A relationship vision helps everything we envision become incorporated into the relationship. It is important to note at this point that relationship visions are not only for people in relationships. This time is ideal for singles to plan what they want for themselves, as well as what God wants for their relationship life also. Singles be sure to look at what God says about relationships first, and that should be a big part of your relationship vision.
In today’s culture, once we enjoy each other’s company, it is seen as an indication to proceed (chemistry is not enough to sustain a relationship). Weddings are planned for several months, without taking into consideration if God said this person is a good fit for our life. The first step to creating a relationship vision is to identify what God says is a good fit for our lives, and then what we may want from the relationship. Ideas, expectations, and prejudices are created by society (parents, television, community, and movies) are brought into the relationship and are often confused as what we want. Relationship vision helps differentiate between one’s desires and those influenced by others. It is, therefore, essential to reflect on what you want and expect from your relationship.
Designing your relationship vision is a deliberate process that takes time and requires effort. Hence, it is advisable to use the help of a Pastor or Christian Marriage Counselor. These several steps can help in creating the ideal relationship vision for you.
· Writing vision statements together and individually:
Writing a vision statement individually and with your partner requires the vision to work together. Writing a vision statement is done by writing strings of short sentences written in the present tense that best describes your vision and your hopes and aspirations for the relationship. It also involves clearly stating out all your desires, negotiable and non-negotiable ones.
Examples of some of those statements are:
· Motivate and support each other to follow and pursue our dreams
· We develop our parenting skills together as a team to become a loving team.
We are honest, open, and transparent in communicating our feelings and thoughts, and each of those opinions is welcome and respected.
· Vision statements are positively written:
The vision statement discussed above should be constructed so that they do not imply any negatives. For instance, if you intend to say ‘’we don’t argue’’, it is better to say ‘’we communicate well and settle our differences calmly’’.
· The relationship vision must consider all areas of your relationship:
The vision statements represent what the relationship vision stands for; hence it must be all-encompassing and touching every area of your life. Areas such as romance, sex, finances, in-laws, lifestyle, leisure, and your values must be evident in planning your relationship vision. Some of these questions should show how you go about yours.
· What would you want your married sex life to be like?
· How do you play together, and what do you do in your free time?
· What will your prayer life, worship life, and church life be like?
· How do you relate when it comes to finances?
After the statements have been written, it is vital to bring them together to form a concrete vision for both parties. Couples might not want to plan everything to give a sense of spontaneity into the relationship. However, a relationship vision is not something you want to leave to chance. Yes, you cannot control everything, but this will give you a clear direction and a common goal for your relationship. After all, In Proverbs, it says without vision, the people perish.
Habakkuk 2:2-3 Proverbs 29:18